Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
