yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
