omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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