Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize