I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
