I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
