Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
