New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
