the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
