I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
