Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
