You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
