Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
