is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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