her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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