Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
