I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
