bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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