You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
