I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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