FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
