just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize