two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
