I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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