belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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