Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
