i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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