My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We have so much sex to catch up on
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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