i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
