Having a random hookup so left but love u
another moral hangover. fuck.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
