the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
