I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize