I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
