This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
