I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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