He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
BRING THE BAGELS
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
