On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
