somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
BRING THE BAGELS
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
