You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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