"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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