Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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