i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
