Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
