whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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