Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
