If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Come see our sink grown plant.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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