so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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