i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm at about main and main street
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
