Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
