why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
