We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
