would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize