Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
