If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
