Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize