so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
