ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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