But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
