I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize