but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
