Sober January is a disaster.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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