Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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