my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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