Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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