My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
