The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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