god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
