Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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