oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
