i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
