im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize