is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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