we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
