I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The best revenge is premature balding
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
