Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I can't put those talents on a resume
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
