I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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